my negotiators
July 13, 2005 � 12:30 a.m.

Just when despair settles in and I am ready to leap,
he always finds a way to come
and save me...
to save us.

I don't ever want him out of my life. I don't want to ever know what it is like to exist without him with me again. I don't ever want to forget this love that lives inside of me that can only be touched by him.

I don't ever....I don't ever...I don't ever...

Promise me you'll always remind me...please...
promise me you'll never watch me just let him go...

because I've never been strong enough to hold onto what really matters to me. I always slip into this noided funk and purposely do things to fuck shit up so that I'm not waiting for things to fall apart and hurt me even more.

If anyone is still here with me...promise, promise, promise...
I've never needed you guys more.