the surreal life
October 07, 2004 � 8:39 p.m.

So, can I tell you that this has been THE worst move ever? I don't have a computer at home online yet, so I'm sneaking one on at work, but I'm hella busy so I will just bullet the chaos for you.

* Wednesday night, realize my cell is broken and I have to buy a new one

* Thursday night and the house STILL isn't all packed up, and Darryl has a cold

* Friday morning and none of his "friends" show up to help us move
* Friday afternoon I'm knee deep in contact paper in the kitchen while Darryl moves most of the stuff over. Bad part is, he just throws shit everywhere, so there is no rhyme, reason, or room for anything to really get done
* Since we are both fucking starving and I am mad craving a cig, he gives me his card to go get money so we can order a pizza
* He goes to call and the phone in the old apartment is off. Try the new line in the new place and nothing
* I go to leave, and my brand new car doesn't start
* Pissed off, hungry, tired, and panicked, we sit around looking at each other as we wait for Mandy (his girl) to come and save us
* Home phone never gets turned on

* Saturday morning use Mandy's cell to call Verizon and curse them out. Gets me nowhere. Am told they will be out on Monday and NO compensation is forth coming for the delay
* Watch as the cable guy pulls out of my court, realizing he went to the wrong house. Call Comcast to tell him to come back. Am told the house he went to said they wanted to cancel service and not coming back. I bitch until they say he will come back
* Stand out in rain as tow truck guy flies right past me and my car. Takes 20 minutes to get that all done
* No food, no phone, no cable...and all of the big stuff is still in the old place so no unpacking
* Saturday night get a call from Comcast saying they can't make it back out. Have a hissy fit and make them send someone out on Sunday

* Sunday morning, Darryl leaves for hours to get someone to help him move the rest of the stuff. He comes back with 2 young boys. I am already pissed because I am hungry, can't call anyone on the phone and can't fucking unpack anything while I'm doing all this fucking waiting
* Cable guy finally comes. Super happy
* Go food shopping with Mandy
* Get home and settle down to watch some cable for a sec, and realize they didn't put the premium channels on
* Spend most of the night cleaning out the old place, which still has stuff in it, because Darryl is a stubborn ass who didn't want his friends to help move the little shit. Expected me to move it. I left it right the fuck there and cleaned around it

* Monday morning call cable guy and they fix the cable
* Call Verizon and kept on hold forever, just to be told phone won't be on till 10/6. I flip out and they offer to have someone call me back. I don't have a phone. Someone could email me, then. YOU ARE MY FUCKING DSL PROVIDER, ASSHOLES!!! Almost die on phone with jerkasses, so I sit and watch Farscape (who is coming out with a new mini series....YEAH!)
* Stand in the middle of all the muck and try to figure out a way to start unpacking in the confusion. Start moving big things around and get my room a little situated
* Cat severely getting on my nerves
* Go out and shop for more food

* Tuesday morning and the cable shuts off
* Call and am told there's a problem in my area
* Go to get my car and have to beg brother for money to get my new phone...tre degrading
* Get to car place and they tell me they don't have my car...that it was never towed there. Begin getting hysterical. They look for paperwork and find it under "H"
* Go to Sprint store, and the fuckers won't let me just have the instant rebate. Sooooooo pissed right now
* Get home, and eat soup. Throat feeling a bit scratchy. Cable guy never came. Call and curse them out. They will be out next day. Starting to feel achy
* Once I get a hold of Darryl, call work to let them know the situation and I can't come in

* Wednesday morning cable guy goes to the wrong place...again...but I catch him this time and he comes and fixes the cable
* Hardly have a voice...body hurts all over. Am officially sick
* Too sick to move shit around so I lay around most of the day
* Phone STILL not turned on by mid afternoon. Call and curse them out AGAIN. Am transferred to a supervisor....which ends up being a "We're Closed" message, which dumps me into a mailbox that just happens to be full
)&$$#%%&*%&**^(%&*%$%#&%^%*^&*^&bgyu*(^&*$%$%&*%@W#%#@#%@#$@#!@#@$%^&**(*()*^&*&*(*()()&!!!!!!!!!!!
* Really feeling sick and eat more soup. Try to find something to wear to work

* Thursday morning I wake up feeling worse
* Walk around and want to cry because place is so fucked up
* Check the phone as I'm leaving and STILL no dial tone
* Come to work to find desk in dissarray and a stupid email from my asshole boss telling me that I should have called him earlier to let him know I wasn't coming in. I called him as soon as I knew for sure!! Hell...as soon as a I had fucking charged up phone!!
* Day ruined and it's only 11:47am. Been snotting and sneezing and moody every since

Even if my life were a reality show and millions of folks tuned in to watch, they still wouldn't believe the shit that I go through is for real. I really just don't get it. Who did I fuck with in my past lives to deserve shit like this? This HAS to be karma's revenge...I had to have been one mean motherfucker, boy.

Good news? Adam wrote me back. *swoon*

This weekend is really going to suck. I'm sick, sleeping on the floor, and I have to somehow find some kind of energy to unpack the rest of the shit so my place will look half decent. I really like it, by the way. Only thing I'm not too keen on is the bathroom being way smaller, the closet doors suck, and my room is smaller. Everything else is great.

Except I want to go on a killing spree in the Verizon call center. I have never talked to more fucking idiots in my life. Not ONE csr that I spoke to said anything to comfort me or fix the situation. In fact, they seemed to just want to inflame it...especially when they would always end the call with, "Someone will call you later about your account, and feel free to visit the site next time for any service issues."

Is that fucking retarded, is it just me? And these were PEOPLE saying this shit, to an irate customer whose phone isn't turned on because they are a bunch of fucking morons.

I say they are asking for it. They need to be put out of their misery.
Now who wants to be my Mickey?

(and if you don't know who I'mn referring to, then your ass needs to be on the list too!!)