maybe...
December 04, 2003 � 8:49 p.m.

Third Entry Today

Jenny informed me yesterday that she will take my uncle up on the offer for her to take Darryl's place on the cruise with us.

Ah yeah, boy!! Jenny and TeTe terrorizing the high seas of the carribean!!

It makes me a little more excited about it all. And a little more terrified. And way more nervous.

Me and my retarded ways.

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So I was told yesterday to basically forget about any hopes of advancement.

Fuck this place.

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I had a dream about Cowboy last night.

I dreamt that we had sex and started having a secret sex affair that no one else knew about...not even Jenny. Every time he tried to be sweet or lovey dovey, I kicked him out. It is so strange. As my love for Swiz seem to grow out of control, this hate for Cowboy grows as well...and neither one of them have done anything recently to deserve either emotion that I am throwing on them, but I can't get either one of them off of my mind.

This sucks.

Maybe it's just the holidays.

Maybe it's just good old fashion PMS.

I don't know.

Maybe it's just fucking insanity...

the scapegoat I know best.