leggo my ego
June 03, 2004 � 1:28 a.m.

First Entry Today

Today�s Weather: Broke with torrents of exhaustion

The operation was a success.

I went up to the hospital and sat with Leenie while she drifted in and out of sleep, my pretty red haired gal, listening to nonsense like Hollywood Squares on her speakers.

I never knew how damn funny that show is.

Anyway, the doc came in and told her he was able to put the disc in the large hole (he made sure to emphasize that it was much bigger than usual and was surprised that it worked), and that she would get an echo and leave the next day.

Today she called me from home, thanking me for coming all the way up there just to sit and watch her sleep, and I just shushed her and told her not to worry about it.

Why would I pass up on a chance to watch an angel slumber?

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I swung by Gig�s place to take her with me to Wal-Mart for her birthday. She was in there going stir crazy. If I would have invited her out to the parking lot, she would have been excited. So I took her with me, and spent FAR too much money on purses and a new messenger bag and some necessaries for the house. I brought her two ghetto fabulous purses with her initials on them�and snatched a few for myself.

Purse shopping�it�s an addiction.

I dropped her off and sat in the car and shot the shit for a minute before she went in. I left there feeling quite satisfied with myself. Two good deeds in one day�and I wasn�t even trying to do good.

Damn me and my do-gooding!!

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Work was hell today. I came in and all my shit was backed up from the long weekend. I didn�t get out of there until 10 o�clock. Damn, was it a long day. Now I�m sitting here hot and exhausted, proud of my accomplishments.

Who else is that fucking dedicated to getting their work done?

Satan called and shot the shit with me awhile. I miss him. I missed another gig on Saturday, mainly because Jenny never called me so we could go. I am a suck as groupie, really. I deserved to be usurped. But shit�I ain�t going without a fight. He has a gig coming up in Wildwood, and Lord willing, I will be right there in the front row singing my lil� heart out.

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I still haven�t heard from Jenny. Leenie told me that Suki said Jenny never showed at the BBQ. I have no idea as to why�she told me she had brought a change of clothes with her to work so she wouldn�t get there too late. I don�t know why she hasn�t called me. Then again, I haven�t called her so I can�t understand what I have to gripe about.

It�s funny, the things we righteously get indignant over, huh?

I want to call her, but I don�t know what to say.

Apparently she doesn�t either, which is why she hasn�t called me.

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I miss sex.

More importantly, I miss sex with Swiz. I have a feeling he has a girlfriend.

Or that he is just through with me.

Either way�I think I�m on the outside looking in�permanently.

I guess I�ll know after Saturday. This would be our regularly scheduled weekend.

After this weekend, I�ll know what I have to do.

As for now�I miss sex�sex with Swiz.

I dream about him all the time now, and in every dream, he leaves me, I search for him, he comes back, and I hesitate before I go to him and then I wake up.

The sub-conscious is a son of a bitch, ain�t it?

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Two more things�more like �what the fuck!?!?��s really�

1. Ladies night has been banned in New Jersey because some dickhead complained that it wasn�t fair to the men that had to pay to get in and pay full price for drinks.

I guess even with the ladies all drunk and rowdy and randy, he still couldn�t get laid and it pissed him off so bad he had to go to court and make a case out of it. Literally.

Funny thing is, his case was only against the Coastline, but the judge made the ruling for all of New Jersey. Way to go dickhead.

I�d hate to be him right now.

And 2�

How the fuck did I just pay 23$ to fill up my tank that had a little over a quarter of a tank in there?!?!

23 fucking dollars?!?!! It used to take 17$ to fill it when it was on E!!!

I have a feeling it is going to be one LONG ass summer�with a lot of fucking car pooling going on.

23$?!?!?!!?!?

Damn!!!

WHAT.THE.FUCK?!?!!