these dreaming eyes of mine
September 05, 2003 � 3:49 p.m.

Second Entry Today

Mood-Rushed

Tomorrow-Annie Soundtrack

"I don't need anything but you."-Annie

Recurring thought-Should I call Swiz?

A classic "What the Fuck?!?!" moment-Last night I dreamt that I was have super nasty hot sex with Swiz, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I swore he was lying next to me and whispered "Hey China eyes". When I came into focus I realized I had still been dreaming and it made me so sad I wanted to cry.

Oh great...so I'm obsessed with Swiz now?!?!

FUCK!!!

FOR TODAY'S "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" RANT, GO HERE

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Last night I was flicking through and guess what I stumbled across. Go on...guess. One of the happiest sappiest movies around. Annie.

That's right...I love the movie Annie with the little white chick with an afro and the suave ass black footman and a bunch of singing and annoying dancing...yeah...I love that movie...

WHAT OF IT?!!?

Call me a sap, but whenever I hear that damn song Tomorrow I get filled with such awe and hope and sadness that I cry. Yup...every time. Just like Over The Rainbow...especially the Patti La Belle version. That song makes me bitch up and cry like an asshole every single time.

Damn those happy, hope filled songs of yesteryear!!

Damn them all to hell!

After singing all the songs along with Annie and the crew, I crashed and for some reason I fell into strange dreams again.

Yup...the fucked up dreams are back...and just when I thought I was free of it all...the bastards.

Oh...but Cowboy did not star in last night's performance. Oh no. It was Swiz.

Swiz fucking me like a mad man 40 ways from Sunday. The damn dream was so fucking sextacular that when I woke up this morning my thighs were hurting.

Now how's that for a wet dream?

Bad part is, we talked in the dream and we decided to give us a try...to see if we would be able to function as well as lovers as we do (did) as friends. And I was happy...so happy...and he stayed the whole night.

I rolled over in my dream and I rolled over in real life, and when I looked, he was laying next to me. He gazed at me and smiled sweetly, touched my cheek and mumbled, "Hey China eyes". I just smiled back and whispered, "Hey cutie."

It was so real!! It seemed so real!! I know I heard his voice and felt his touch, but as my eyes came into focus, he was no longer there.

He was gone.

Just a dream...again.

And for some reason I felt such a loss well up inside of me that I seriously was about to cry. Instead I just rolled back over, buried my face in my pillow, hugged my bear tight, and allowed myself to sink back into the luxury of my dreams.

***Swiz dreams are made of this***

I wonder if I should give him a call.

Damn.

Here I go again.