catching up
May 12, 2004 � 3:02 a.m.

First Entry Today

Today�s Weather: Bleak with sporadic giddiness

I need to apologize for the convoluted entries I have been leaving as of late.

Not really apologizing to you, reader, but to myself.

I have so many thoughts and emotions tumbling around inside that I need to express, but every time I sit down to write, my crap computer is overrun by pop ups and screen freezes and I get so frustrated that I can�t even complete a thought.

Once I get this thing fixed, things will be better. Promise!

To all those that leave me notes and messenger me and email me�.I�m sorry it takes so long for me to respond, but lately I come home and just pass out in front of the TV. My body is going through some transitional thing and I either can�t sleep or sleep too much�.and it�s fucking with my brain.

Alana�.soon as I fix this piece of shit, we will chat girlie�.

Angel�darlin��.I miss talking to you. Maybe I will send you something in the mail soon. Love ya!!

Poppy�love�thank you for the CD!!! It is so awesome! I was rocking it out at work today. That was so sweet of you! I hope that we can start a mail trade for books and music and things. Would you like that? I loved the green package by the way. Made me think of green eyes, red hair, and Sapphire induced laughter. You are the best!!

Dragon�.girl�I have to get back on AOL soon. Our chats always make me laugh. You rock.

One thing I will say before I leave�

The whole Cowboy marriage thing isn�t bothering me like I think it should affect me, and THAT bothers me. I�m afraid I�ll have some kind of violent, delayed reaction or something. Some kind of set back.

Like many things that have been happening lately, I care more about the fact that I don�t care than actually caring�I am scared that I am shutting down to my emotions or something. Shouldn�t these things have some kind of impact on me?

Or is that just a part of moving on?

I don�t know.

Some kind of bug bit me on the lip and now it has a bump on it. That�s not relevant to anything, but I just wanted to share a quirky tidbit before signing off.

Yeah�I�m still stupid.

Ain�t that just grand?