happy bi-centennial diary!
November 17, 2003 � 9:31 p.m.

Second Entry Today

This weekend was blissfully stress free.

Well�sort of.

I went to my father�s fundraiser, and while it was lovely for my mother and her friends, I felt more out of place than a sober Kennedy at a bar on $1 drink night.

It was like an old folk bomb blew up in that place. My brother was the youngest in there, followed 4 years by me, followed 2 years by my twin cousins Shake and Bake. After that, the gap jumped by like nine years�and that was only one guy�and I grew up with him.

So yeah�it was pretty much dullsville for me, my bro, and the twins. I felt bad but I was soooooo glad when they wanted to cut out early. I had to leave with them because I drove, and because they have the combined brainpower of a wet dishcloth, I had to leave with them so they wouldn�t get lost.

YAY FOR IDIOTS!!

I�ll talk some other time about my hostility towards the perfectly lovely, college graduate, track star, �goodie two shoes�, twin cousins of mine�because talking about them just pisses me off for some many reasons and in so many ways that it will completely fuck up my mellow vibe and I ain�t in the mood right now.

Let�s just say they caused more harm then good when we were growing up�hell�they still do�but at least now I�m old enough to tell them to fuck off and leave me alone when they start that shit of theirs.

**HINT: If you have ever seen the twins episode of �FEAR FACTOR� my cousins were the set of twins from Camden�even though they haven�t lived in Camden for over 16 years. Yeah�so if you saw that�they are 1 million times more annoying in real life.

Anywho�

One of my favorite movies was on last night, and I was so amped to see it, I sat down with some popcorn and soda�totally skipping my weekly dose of �Carnivale� to hunker down and watch some good ole� Wizard Of Oz. (Poppy�if you read this�I know you watched it too, right girlfriend?) And you know what? It is still one of my faves, but I realized something�

Dorothy was an ass.

Here she was�living the good life in Oz�IN COLOR�where she was a hero, where she had friends, where she had adventure, where she had freedom, where she was SOMEBODY�.and she wasn�t happy. All she wanted to do was go home�home where the lady was still waiting to take ToTo away and life was boring and there was no adventure and where everything was black and white.

She spent all her time and energy to get back to boring ass Kansas�and I have spent my entire life trying to find my way to Oz�to find adventure, to make those friends, to be that hero�to escape the black and white of life.

I never noticed that movie had so many metaphors before. It is totally genius.

Cowardly Lion totally makes the movie though. Without him, that movie would drag. The best part to me is when they get in to see the wizard and he yells at them to leave and the lion turns and hauls ass down the corridor and then just leaps out the window.

I don�t care what nobody, says�now that�took some courage.

Maybe I emulate the Lion because I am so much like him�living life so afraid and chasing after something I already have but am just too self-depreciating to realize it.

I always think that I have no strength, that I have no talent, that I have no worth�then sometimes�though rarely, someone comes along and tells me different�someone comes along and holds up the mirror and says �There is where you�ll find it.�, and I polish off my badge and put it on my chest again.

That was a really longwinded and stupid way of saying �Thanks Angel.�

You have the greatest knack of saying the best things when I need to hear it.

Love Ya, Girl.

Even though this entry made no sense, let's give it up for ENTRY 200!!!!!

WOO HOO!!

Now here's some stupid ass quizes just to piss people who say my entries are stupid off even more!!!

I think this one is a bit off.....

I know a few who'd agree with this...but they're wrong!!