one step forward, three years back
September 21, 2004 � 1:26 a.m.

Today�s Weather: Moving motionless

So�

Hmmmm�

I uh�.

Hmmmmm�

I guess I�m boring, huh?

Nothing has really been going on, and I am finding it hard to come here and write something without boring you and myself to fucking tears. It�s probably because of the move. It has me all tied up and twisted in knots. I come home and I�m too tired to pack�too irritated to clean�and too morose to plan out anything.

Not even an entry here.

Don�t get me wrong�this is temporary. I guess because I�ve been so preoccupied, I haven�t really been living a life�you know? I haven�t really been anywhere or done anything�mainly because I�m broke as shit. I�ve been playing catch up with the bills so I won�t be overwhelmed when the car and upped insurance payments start. I�m not really freaking out about the bills anymore. Not really. I mean, worse come to worse and I have to strip down to the bare minimum�then I�d do it. No cable. Shitloads of oodles of noodles and tuna. No home phone. No net (yipes!) Mad energy conservation. I could do it�I don�t want to do it�but I could if I had to�so I�m not really worried about.

That�s a lie�but a good lie.

I miss Swiz. When am I not missing his ass?

And here�s an opportunity that will more than likely bring back the Thea you all know and love�I have Adam�s address.

GASP!!

Yes�Adam�first love Adam�might be making a comeback. Not a comeback as in getting together�well�no. no, no�not that kind. But I may be writing about him a lot. I sure as hell have been thinking about him a lot, and I think it�s meant to be for me to write him. It was dumb luck I called his mom and she had the address for me�and when she told me he�d love to hear from me, I gushed.

Thing is�I�ve been staring at a blank page all night. I don�t know where to start. It�s been so damn long�what do I say? I know I cant tell him I still miss him and think of him often and regret our parting�that would be stupid. So what do you say to a guy that you haven�t seen in years or spoken to in a year? I don�t have the least clue. All I have is butterflies�and hope�

Yes�hope�after all this time�I have hope that he will welcome me back into his life. Not as his girl�but his friend.

That was always the title I cherished most anyway.

Wish me luck, my freaky darlings�and as always�

wish me love.