annoyances
March 18, 2004 � 12:29 a.m.

First Entry Today

Today�s Weather: Pissy

Here it is.

My momma, The Queen, is out of the hospital. She�s doing a little better, but not much. Now here is where the fun begins. I hate it when she gets out of the hospital because this is the worst times. This is when she really irks my nerves and I go back to being the bad daughter again because she always ends up doing dumb shit to piss me off. She was out all day today, driving around in this weather. She needed her meds, yes�but she either should have just called someone or waited. No. She had to go driving around and getting the meds and whatever else, so now she�s home feeling like shit again. And I�m not there, and I can�t help out and she�s already started with the stubborn �I don�t need help� bullshit. And the calling and the pitiful voice and the illogical requests and the spending of monies she doesn�t have. And I know I should just be grateful she is ok, and I am�really�but I am just pissed off because this is just the beginning. Now I�m going to be running around like a chicken with the head cut off doing this and that and calling this person and that person and listening to her whimper about us coming and needing this and that. This is spoil the mommy time and she milks it for all it�s worth. All day I have been on edge, scared when she doesn�t answer the phone and annoyed when she does answer and tell me what she�s up to. If we don�t pay her enough attention, then she gets moody and then I get moody and then it just gets worse. She�s supposed to be coming p here to stay with my uncle while she gets better, but he was being an ass and now she�s pissed. She pissed because my brother ain�t here and she wants me to call her every hour just to confirm that. In a couple of weeks, it should be back to normal, but for now�ladies and gents�welcome to my hell.

Someone has been playing on my fucking phone for the past few weeks. Calling me all times of the night from a blocked number, sending me stupid texts but never telling me who they are and shit like that. I HATE that. I hate folks fucking with me�and for no reason!! I have no clue who the fuck this is and they keep texting me and telling me to stop playing. I am so freaking annoyed right now. Every fucking thing is irking me, but this phone shit is irking me most of all. If I find out who this is�there will be hell to pay. Seriously.

A girl got fired from work today. It�s not cool for anyone to get fired, but damn�she was asking for it. She was getting her name put on orders she wasn�t working for, so basically, she was stealing money. She had got me into trouble for this shit a few weeks back, saying I told her it was ok for her to do it, when I never said anything like that. She was crying hard, and I felt sorry for her for a minute, but damn�if you gonna steal, at least be smart about it. Don�t be greedy and obvious. That�s how you get caught�obviously.

I haven�t heard back from Jenny since I wrote her back yesterday. I guess she had nothing to say to what I had to say so I guess that confirms what I said�right? So why doesn�t that make me feel any better?

You know, once, just once, I would like to come home and have the place all cleaned up with everything in it�s place so I can just sit down, enjoy some TV, and eat my damn dinner in peace. Just once�I would fucking love that. I am so sick of coming home to a damn disaster area. I�m sick of coming home to clean. To a mess. To loneliness. To chaos. I am sick to death of chaos. I just want to fade away�.fade away. Leave and never look back.

You have to forgive the ranting and convoluted bullshit. I am pms�n like a bitch and I am just annoyed as all hell. I need some sleep. I need some love.

I need some peace.

And last�.but not least�please send some love to my Teetsie. Her pup passed and she really needs some love right now.

We all need a little love right now.