28 is the loneliest number
February 19, 2004 � 1:39 a.m.

I waited till now to write my first entry as a 28 year old, because I wanted to give those a chance that didn�t call me to call me.

To sum it up, no Jenny, no Cowboy, no Leenie, no Swiz calls for me today.

Ain�t that a fucking bitch?

I am really upset Jenny didn�t call. I mean, Jenny? Not calling? What the fuck is that? After everything I did for her on her birthday, I don�t get a call, an e-card, nothing?

Nothing?

I hoped Swiz would call, though I didn�t hold my breath. Good thing too, because the fucker never called. And Cowboy? I at least expected him to call and fake like we were friends and wish me a fucking happy birthday. I did that much for his stupid ass.

That just fucked up my whole day.

And work�let�s not go there. Those who I expected to at least do something did nothing and the one I didn�t expect anything from did everything. Jack brought me in cupcakes and a horoscope book, and the coolest thing ever�.a muppet chess set. How fucking awesome is that?!?! A muppet fucking chess set. I damn near cried when I saw it. It was so sweet of him�and so thoughtful�now I don�t know�I don�t know what to do or if we can go back or if�it was just a goodbye birthday gift. I don�t know. What is wrong with us?

And she didn�t even send me an e-card. She gave him a cake and a gift and I couldn�t even get a fucking e-card on mine when I sent her several on hers. I have no words for her�for real. I had doubts, but now�none. All these years�and nothing.

Fuck that.

In spite of my previous bitch fest, I did have a good day today. My mom called me at the time I was born to wish me a happy birthday (though I was still passed out from my drunken tirade the night before). Relly called and left a message singing me happy birthday, Satan called and shot the shit with me (he didn�t know it was my birthday, but it was still awesome he somehow knew to call me), and so many folks from here wished me a happy birthday�even some folks I didn�t know (thanks to Angel).

I came home and smoked a whole pack of cigs while waiting for Jenny to call, thinking she might just surprise me and come over, but when she didn�t, I fished off the vodka and scarffed down some pizza rolls as my birthday dinner all alone.

Darryl just popped in and gave me a great gift. A scanner, printer, and copier combo.

He is the best brother ever.

My other asshole brother didn�t even call. Fuckwit.

So I�m drunk and horny again, but no tears. Today, in spite of it all, was a good day and I had fun.

Much love to all who wished me a great birthday.

Jenny�

Where the fuck are you?

I have to go pass out now.