...and kye makes three
May 08, 2004 � 5:38 p.m.
First Entry Today
Today�s Weather: Moments of �huh?!?!� all day
I am confused.
Last night Ric called me. He called me to say he was sorry for not calling me last week to come over�and I was like �huh?� What made him call me to APOLOGIZE? He always says he�ll call or come and then doesn�t�but this time�he called to apologize for not calling.
Hmmmmm�.
So we talk a bit about what he did and all, and then he just says hold on and puts someone on the phone. After we battle back and forth with the �hello and who is this�s�, he finally says my name all slow and surprised sounding and I�m like yeah, who�s this�and he says it�s me�
Swiz.
It was Swiz.
We passed pleasantries and then we both sat there, probably wondering what the fuck the other was doing or did that we ended up talking on someone else�s phone to each other. Then he mumbled that he�d give Ric back the phone and next thing Ric was back on the line and calling after Swiz, asking where he was going.
This SO has the potential to be NOT GOOD.
I�m thinking my name had to come up somehow and that�s why Ric called (without Swiz knowing he called), and then put us on the phone (for what reason I�m not sure) and then Swiz just ups and leaves in a huff because of it (so was the conversation about me good or bad before and after I got off the phone?)
Ohhhhhhhhh�see�bad�bad�disaster is written all over this!! What if Ric had said something about coming to see me? What if Swiz had brought up what we were doing? What if Ric just called me to rouse Swiz? What if it was just a big fuck you to us both?!?!
Shit!! Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT!!
I�m trying not to think about it. Tonight is Coast night and usually our rendezvous night�so I guess I�ll know if he comes out or if he answers when I call.
Not that that would give me a definite clue�especially since it hasn�t been a month yet so it�s not REALLY time for us to get together�but still�SOMETHING was going on there last night with that funky ass phone call�.
but what??
Then�
Today, Kye calls me.
Yes, lost love that is expecting his second baby with the girl he supposedly doesn�t want to be with, Kye�calls me and has me on the phone at work for over an hour.
I feel so sorry for Kye. He really is unhappy right now, but he doesn�t want to leave because he won�t get to see his kids and because he doesn�t want to be like his father. He told me about all the problems and how she recently did something that really hurt him, and that has just made everything worse. I told him to talk to her, and he said he tries but she doesn�t listen�she�s an airhead. Now she�s a hormonal airhead, and there�s just no talking to her. I did my best to help in with advice, but he seems to be resigned to the fact that he needs to leave�but can�t. I told him if he ever needed to get away, he could come crash with us when we get the two bedroom�that he could take Darryl�s place on the couch. He said that wouldn�t be a good idea. Then I said he could crash in the room with Darryl, and he said that could be sticky. Then I said he couldn�t share a room with me, and he was like, �Why not? We used to sleep together when we were younger�Remember? We slept together up until you were 15�until�it started to be REAL��
Huh?!?!? What is this�Dawson�s friggin� Creek?!?! Sleep together?
All kinds of flags raised, but I laughed and joked it off, but his voice was serious�and probing�and then I REALLY felt bad for him. He even brought up being my sperm donor (inside joke) and said he�d always have some for me. I admit, my emotions were all over the place while we were talking, but as usual, the thought of us being together was the most fleeting one�as it has always been the most fleeting one�the only real one being the idea of the chase�
But this time�he brought it up�and he sounded serious�like�he was finally admitting that part of him has always wanted to be with me.
And now I�m confused.
Why?
Because there is a great possibility that ALL of these guys will show up at the Coast tonight because at one point or another I invited them
What the fuck have I done?!