a ha�a HA!
January 30, 2004 � 3:00 p.m.

First Entry Today

Today�s Weather: Clear and homicidal all day

So the joke�s on me, I guess.

The fucking joke is always on me.

Hmmm�where to start? I think I confessed my ultra magnetic sin of sleeping with Cowboy already, but I feel so dirty and ashamed by it, I must say it again.

I slept with my ex asshole fianc� that dumped me last year so he could fuck his ex-bitch ass girlfriend and some skater punk chick that dumped him within a month. Both white girls, yes�neither smarter than me, no�and I am way cuter than both those dog show bitches�yes? Anyway, yup, I made the cardinal sin and slept with the devil�again�and my soul with burn for all fucking eternity for 8 damn minutes of sub pleasurable dick. Yeah�reputation shot to shit, I�m the laughing stock to my friends, and my pride is completely dwindling into nothingness for 8. fucking. minutes. of sex with a dude I can barely stand to look at half the time without picturing him dead in a ditch somewhere.

Fuck.

Damn this unsustainable lust of mine.

* sigh *

The reason I mention this treason, is because of me having lack luster sex with the Cowboy (and him doing his damndest to shift my uterus in that little space of time), he sorta �rubbed me the wrong way� and I had an ingrown hair, which, with my super sensitive skin, turned into some kind of cyst/boil thing. Yeah, you heard me�a cyst on my uni. It would not burst or anything, so I was laid up in THE most severe pain of my life for two fricking days!! Do you know how much that shit hurt? I can�t even begin to describe the pain. I am not a crybaby or a wimp when it comes to pain, but that thing had be completely bitched up�lying in a ball crying on my bed for two damn days. Then my mom scared the shit out of me and told me I�d have to go to the doctor to get it lanced and then I REALLY started crying like a three year old with a skinned knee. Luckily, my body being the magnificent piece of work it is, it burst on it�s own as I was trying to wash and get dressed to go to the doctor (oye!) and then I was freaked out because the shit that came out of that thing was the most vile stuff that has ever passed out of my body.

I still have to go to the doctor, though, as I have been informed that it could come back (though I am back on my feet, well ass, at work, it isn�t completely healed). So fun. I have to go to the doctor and have some asshole lance my uni because I HAD SEX WITH FUCKING COWBOY!!!

Speaking of sex, bitch ass Swiz still hasn�t called me.

Boy, the Fates, those bitches, really like fucking with me.

Then, I get back to work, and someone switched my chair again, so I had the broke chair that is like a second away from collapsing. Yes, let�s give the fat girl the broke chair so it can fold up when she sits in it and we can all fall out laughing!! So that was fun. On top of someone being a fucking smart ass and signing me up on some lesbian love connection site with a profile saying that I�m new to the game and searching for someone to teach me the ropes.

Have I ever mentioned that I am a lesbian?

Well, I�m not.

Apparently, nosey mother fuckers around me listen in to the joke conversations I have with Jenny laced with us flirting back and forth, and have taken it upon themselves to assume that I am a lesbian.

So now I�m a fucking lesbian?

Jenny went to the site and had a good laugh. She said that whoever did the profile didn�t say anything bad or out of the way, in fact, it was a bit flattering, but I�m still pissed about it. I know it was someone here at work because of the password they created and they had it sent to my work email address (which could actually get me in trouble).

Jebus Cripes!!

Why me? I mean, I try not to dwell on it or whine about it, but damn. Why the fuck does retarded shit like this happen to me? I must have been a major bitch in my past life because I sure as hell am catching shit in this one.

Mo-ther Fuck-ers!!

Anyway, good news is that today is the end of my brother�s 45-day activation period and he is still here. He was not deployed. And I�m happier than a motherfucker about that. My mom�s birthday was yesterday, so we are taking her out to dinner on Sunday to give her her gifts and celebrate. Also, I have found my godson Henry!! I know where he is and I will be getting him this weekend!! I am SO happy!! This is the longest I have gone without seeing him since he was born!! I can�t wait to see how big he got. He plays football now and in school he plays the flute, so I will buy him a flute so he can have one of his own.

JOY!!

Well, that�s enough of this bitch ass update. Still no computer (grrrr!) so I have to rely on my Angel to post these damn things for me. So don�t think I just haven�t been visiting ya�lls pages or anything (if anyone even still comes here). Hopefully, I�ll be back soon and be able to catch up on everyone�s lives.

I miss you guys like crazy.

Hope you�re all okay.

Well, I�m off like a hooker�s skirt for a 50$ job.

Tonight I go see Satan. Not to see him perform. Just to have some free drinks on him and the band.

AWESOME.