it's all logical...right?
October 23, 2003 � 3:19 p.m.

First Entry Today

Just a quick note---an update really..

Jenny has me freaked out and says that I should take a pregnacy test because maybe the thing I saw was a deformed premature baby telling warning me to stop smoking.

Yeah Jenny...thanks...let's make it worse huh?

The ever insightful Eight-9-3 suggested that the chasing and dying in the dreams could be sexual symbolism. I had totally not connected dying to orgasms (and yeah...I have been a horny little bugger as of late).

I think it's a combo of seeing Carnivale WAY to many times and right before I got to bed at that...and I am currently reading American Gods by Neil Gaimen. More than likely my brain is feeding off of the ingenuius imagry and idealism of these two new obsessions of mine and is working over time. Yeah...combine that and my over active imagination and you get a very strange chain of reactions.

As for the other weird things...the not locking doors...the seeing people who quickly vanish...the pets acting freaky...the sleeping...

Well...those are just...explainable...

tircks of light, guilty concious, wishful thinking...you know...shit like that.

The big eyed, sad creature holding my cigs lying next to me in my bed...

well...

that's something else all together.

Maybe it was my guardian.

Maybe I was just dreaming.

Maybe it was a premonition.

Maybe I'm just crazy.