swiz swoon #2
September 24, 2003 � 7:44 p.m.

Second Entry Today

Mood-prickly

Breakdown-Melissa Etheridge

"You and those damn china eyes, girl...so fucking sexy..."-Rush

Recurring thought-Chick fila sounds like a plan tonight!!

A classic "What the Fuck?!!?" moment-Talking to Satan today and I totally had nothing to say to him.

For the first time it felt possible that he will more than likely just slip out of my life no matter how tight I might want to hold on to him.

Satan...slipping into darkness...

*************************************************

I am here...thinking of you, as usual.

I am lost in a gentle memory...the birth of US.

That first soft touch that ran from my cheek to my thigh, ending with you fervently grabbing the back of my neck to pull me into your kiss.

Our first kiss.

My hand on your neck by your ear...caressing your cheek as we broke away and rushed forward again and again...the taste of the Remy on your lips...your grip strong and sure as you held me close...your eyes dark orbs that absorbed my composure and reserve.

Our first kiss.

We pulled away awkwardly, not because we were ashamed but because neither of us wanted it to end...neither one of us expected it would be so powerful and engrossing...neither one of us imagined that it would feel so good...so right.

I remember your lips on my neck as I purred and ran my fingers along your pelvis and chest. I remember your tongue and breath in my ear and your hand sliding up my shirt to fondle my breast.

I remember the desperation in our voices as we tugged and pulled and gripped and ripped at each other...twisting and writhing this way and that...our grunts interrupted by moans and coos of satisfaction and wanting.

I remember wishing we were somewhere else...anywhere else so we could be

closer...

and closer...

and closer still...

so I could feel you inside of me, savor the taste of your velvety skin on my lips and tongue, make you groan my name as you plunge deeper and deeper inside my endless fiery chasm...not knowing or caring about where you end and I begin...not worrying about else in the world except us and the moment.

I remember breathing into your ear, "It has always been you." and feeling relieved when you didn't hear me clearly.

I remember laughing at the disgruntled bulge in your pants and the glitter from my breasts all over your face and shirt.

I remember the smell of me on your fingers and lips when you pulled me in for one last kiss before you had to go.

But most of all, I remember how we sat there in silence folded into each other's embrace. You had your lips on my forehead and you traced little circles on my back as you sighed and said you had to go.

I remember that look of guilt and lust tumbling in your eyes as you scanned my face and touched my cheek, and I remember you saying this to me...

"I guess I'm saying I'm sorry because I'm NOT sorry for what we're doing. It just feels so...right. I can't help myself."

You got out of the car and we stood gazing at each other and you just had to keep touching me...kneading my ear with your fingers.

I remember the air, the smell, the electricity jumping between us...the light, the moon, the regret lingering between us...the stars, the noise, the attraction growing between us.

"You and those damn china eyes, girl...so fucking sexy..." you murmured before kissing my cheek and turning away.

I am lingering here, as always, lost in a memory of you...of our first kiss...our confessions finally free from the cages in our secret hearts...our skin and lips crashing together like flipped magnets...

I am remebering butterflies...

I am remembering thinking for the first time in a long time...

"He could be The One."