how many licks?
September 18, 2003 � 5:49 p.m.
First Entry Today
Mood-Cranky as all get out!!
Thirteenth Circle-Perfect Circle (Yes the whole thing fucking rocks and has been on repeat all freaking day!!)
"Even with all of our tiffs and the desperation of it all, I was in paradise. A paradise with skies the color of hell flames...but a paradise still."-Lolita
Recurring thought-I fucking hate my job and every fucking body that works here and I wish they all would just try using a fucking brain cell and leave me the fuck alone before I go the fuck off!!!!!!!
A classic "What the Fuck?!?!" moment-Laying in bed last night, drifting into sexy dreams about Swiz, when suddenly my phone rings. Thinking it's Swiz on his over for a midnight nook fest, I answer the phone.
It was my damn stalker ex, James, talking about how much he misses me and wishes he hadn't fuck it all up.
He then raved for half an hour over a fucking cheese steak I made him a year and a half ago.
Half hour.
A cheese steak.
Disrupting sex dreams.
And he wonders why I hate the sound of his voice.
Fucking nimrod!!
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So as you all can see, I attempted to make a few changes with Angel's help, but something went plooey and we can't figure out what happened. It was fine until I moved my crap from one side to the other and put my stat tracker back on. Now one side is white and the other side is two tone. Even though, the more I look at it...I think it's kind of funky and way original...but the anal side of me just can't let go of whatever the fuck went wrong to make it this way and it's driving me freaking batty!!
How bout it kiddies? Should I just leave it like this and roll the fuck on?
Satine's ghost is fucking it up for everybody!!
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I have had the most horrific day today here at work. I honestly can say I know what goes through someone's mind when they decide to come into work one day and just blast whatever fucking moves.
Monkey is on vacation. He left me the highly stressful job of putting all the high cost orders through. Since Monday, I have put at least $25,000 worth of orders through and I am so noided that it's all going to come back to bite me in the ass. And today, Jack had some kind of chest pain or something so he left to go to the hospital...which is fine...lord knows if you gotta go to the hospital you gotta go. I have no problems with that. I just have a problem with the fact that one queue of his was backed up by three days and today I have been catching hell from customers, customer service, and sales because of the damn back up. It's not MY fault or MY job, let me remind you, but everyone here is riding MY ass because it isn't done and hasn't been done.
Fuck the fact that I have been picking up the slack for three other queues that aren't mine all week, been flooded with emails, and haven't been able to get my report done because I've been covering other folk's asses and I'm not even the one that was left "in charge". No...fuck all that. I'm the asshole because of all the orders I DIDN'T get out...even though it's not my responsibility.
And if one more fucking salesman emails me or badgers me to get their fucking order out first because it has been sitting since Saturday, I am going to grab my box cutter and go the fuck to town!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
ISABELL....TAKE ME AWAY!!!!
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Speaking of Ms. Hurricane, why is it that people get so incredibly stupid when they find out a storm is coming? I have heard that damn song "Rock Me Like A Hurricane" like 20 times today because everyone is requesting it! Assholes are using it as an excuse to leave work early and everyone is driving like 5 miles an hour this morning and people are freaking out and running to the store like they're going to be holed up for weeks.
I bet you those people that made fall out shelters during the Y2K scare are sitting pretty right about now, laughing and saying, "I'll be nice and safe in my bunker. Who's the idiot now?"
You are, love. You are still number one.
Pah...mortals! What fools we be!!
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Swiz surprised me by calling me back last night. He like never calls me back. We chatted about this and that...the storm and financial woes and shit like that. Finally, I just asked him when he was going to come through again, and he got this really sexy tone and was like he didn't know with all that was going on. I could tell that caught him off guard and he was blushing. I felt better after I talked to him. Not as...nervous about us. Whatever will be, will be.
Funny thing though, my scopes said I was going to get a call yesterday and it would "water the bloom on a budding romance."
Hmmmmmmm.......could be......
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The amazing stalker man, James, called me last night. I was wondering where he had disappeared to. I was getting too used to not being annoyed without him calling me and spewing his drunken bullshit in the wee hours of the night. Last night was a call in the middle of the night with him revealing how much he missed me and regretting all the shit he did to me. He said I was still his love and one day he would have a bunch of money and he would come and get me and take me away from it all.
Yeah...okay.
He then extolled my virtues in the kitchen by talking about a cheese steak I had made him once and the one time I made him break fast of bacon and eggs. It was flattering and annoying at the same time. Part of me...the evil egotistical bitch in me...wanted to take advantage of this situation. I mean, I could have said anything...done anything...hell, I could have made him do anything last night just to see how far he would go to get me back. I want to fuck with his mind and spend up all his money and degrade him and cheat on him like he did me.
I want to make him crawl like the lowly dog he is.
Then, the logical part of me says it's not worth it...HE'S not worth it, and all the aggravation he would bring would totally outweigh the pleasure I would get out of deflating his overblown ego. More than that, that small empathetic part of me wouldn't want to do those things to him, and would probably make it so I'd end up the one getting fucked over.
The small things...there's nothing bigger, is there?
I think I could be a pretty rocking full scale bitch if I could just find a way to shut that small part the fuck up. After all...bitches are stars in this world and good girls go through life picking up after them.
So weird though...if bitches have everything and get what they want...then why are they always so fucking unhappy?
Why do guys fall in love with bitches but lust to corrupt good girls?
Why do they then settle down with a good girl just to forever lust after the unattainable bitches?
Why is it the good girls always end up feeling sorry for the bitches?
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?
The world may never know.