sacrilegious
August 19, 2003 � 8:56 p.m.

Here's a poem I wrote for Cowboy when we were together. He loves this poem...even had me reprint it for him after we broke up. I don't know why I'm posting it today...except that I can't get it out of my mind. And maybe because...I miss belonging to someone.

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I am completely blasphemous...

Every morning I kneel down

in front of my dark angel,

kiss his thighs

and hum mesmerized,

trying to surmise the distinct flavor of his skin...

yes...I'm living in sin...

bowing to my prophet

and treating his words as my laws

for when he commands me to come...

I do it...

when he wants me to stay...

I do it...

when he needs something done...

I do it...

not because I am forced or asked

but because I am compelled~~

some kind of spirit invokes me

and provokes to abide by his whims,

for I was nothing before I found him...

when I was wandering, desolate in my meanderings,

his voice boomed from his lofty height

and sweet salvation...the light of his smile

showed me the way...

and no longer was I blinded by the empty promises

of previous devious false prophets

that had led me down my path of destruction...

deteriorating my faith in what I knew to be right.

He forgives me my trespasses...

baptizing me in the depth of his eyes,

astounding me with the gentle caress of his kindness

as I sing benevolent praises for this king

I revere as most high...

and every night when I lay with him

we merge so I become flesh of his flesh,

engorged by the power I feel in the pulse of his blood,

his name tumbles from me,

revered on my lips...

my only prayer to Heaven.

May God one day pity me, forgive my blatant hedonism

and folly in putting my idol before him,

cause I have backslidden down a razor's blade

and helplessly wallow obliviously burning

in the cyanide snare of my sin.

�ambroziya snow2003