raving and reviews
August 12, 2003 � 1:36 p.m.
First Entry Today
Mood-Hungry and tired as hell
Unforgiven-Metallica
"Keep your beautiful head up and talking to the stars that look like planets. We ARE whole, even without the men we love(d). Right? :)"- Jane
Recurring Thought- Fuck...how am I going to make it to next payday?!?!?
A classic "What the Fuck?!?!" moment- Going to the mechanic to get a $50 tune up and 18$ oil change, only to end up paying $198 and I still got 700$ worth of repairs left to get done!!!
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am one of those bubble headed people that actually love their cars. I mean love my car like most others love people...or pets. Silvie is my baby...my first...my compadre. When shit was tight, she was always there. She always took me to see Cowboy no matter the weather. She watched me cry over him, fall in love with him, lose him the first time, get him back, and then lose him again forever. Silvie has been through it all with me, ever faithful...ever reliable.
She doesn't care if I push her to the limit by speeding down the highway with the radio blaring while I sing off key at the top of my lungs.
She is my best friend.
She has been a bit sick lately, and I finally had to take her to the doc because she wasn't sounding too well and it turns out she needs extensive surgery. She's doing good for her age, but we need to get some work done so she can be around a bit longer. So Silvie, baby, I will do whatever I have to do...sacrifice whatever...so you can be well again.
Shit...I am declaring undying faithfulness to my fricking car, now.
Did I really just do that?
Fuck.
I need a a date.
Pronto.
Now that I have entered the realm of "certifiable", I shall endeavor to move on.
My dedication to Silvie's well being has totally fucked MY well being, as now I have nothing...NOTHING...to last me two weeks til I get paid again.
Nothing.
Broke, broke, broke, broke, broke.
Have I said that I'm an ass today?
Well I am. That's me. Ms. Smacked Ass at your service.
Dammit...I have to figure out something.
I got my work review yesterday. My boss loves my performance but hates the latenesses...well fuck me, the nerve of him to expect me to be on time!! He also noticed that I have become withdrawn and I have distanced myself from the rest of the group...that I do not seem to be a team player anymore.
Well I'm sorry Mr. Monkey...I didn't know I had to be up the asses of the rest of the group all day long. The same people who rarely have anything substancial to say to me...or each other for that matter. I didn't know I had to listen to them gripe and bitch and give feedback on it. I'll get right on that for you! And as for personal life...well...I don't have one. I am here 6 damn days a week working fucking 10 HOURS DAYS, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT I LOST MY GRANDMOM IN MARCH, MY FAMILY MOVED AWAY IN APRIL, MY FIANCE' BROKE UP WITH ME IN MAY, I LOST MY FUCKING BABY IN JUNE, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO ADJUST TO LIVING IN MY NEW PLACE IN JULY WHILE SUFFERING SOME KIND OF FUCKING BREAKDOWN, AND SO FAR THIS MONTH I AM BROKE, BEING AVOIDED BY THE ONLY MAN I WANT TO BE AROUND, WAS AMBUSHED BY MY EX'S NEW GIRL, AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS GOT FIRED....SO PARDON FUCKING ME IF I HAVE BEEN IN MY OWN WORLD AND NOT CONVERSATIONAL OR NICE ENOUGH. EXCUSE ME FOR NOT MINGELING AND PRETENDING I REALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANYONE ELSE IN THE STUPID PLACE RIGHT NOW!!! I AM SO FUCKING SORRY FOR HAVING A LIFE! HOW WRONG OF ME! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! DO YOU WANT A TAP DANCE WITH THAT SHOE SHINE MASSA' OR SHOULD I JUST SING YOUR FAVORITE SPIRITUAL?!!?!?!?
Anyway....
They offered my a raise because they love and value me so much. They offered me a 10 cent raise. TEN CENTS. And this will be the last reveiw and raise for a year. TEN CENTS. All I have done and do for this company and that's what they see my worth as. Ten Cents. Monkey did not want to even bring it up. As soon as he said it he looked up at me with his "Oh shit, here we go" face. I remained calm. I said I want more or I walk. He said he'll see what he can do. Ten Cents. They offered me Ten Cents.
Fuckers.
But hey ho!! I got another review back today! JANE-REVIEWS gave me a fucking rocking review!! Now Jane...she actually READ my entries and gave good feedback. I read her diary all the time. I think her writing is heart wrenchingly awesome and I am truly honored by her great review. I have to put it here so I can save it in case of...well whatever. So thanks Jane, for making my week with such a great review and for actually saving me as a fave because you liked it so much!!
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dalyrical1
12:32 a.m. - 2003-08-12
*quotable*: "I let him in and he ran away screaming like a bitch in a horror movie."
*jane recommends*: careful what you wish for...
*number of entries read*: All 92, darling. I enjoyed you that much.
*content* <44/50 points>: You know, it doesn't get much better than this. In the beginning, your writing was so full of raw emotion, I had to stop and come back another day a few times. You are truly gifted in expressing your innermost hurts, desires, and hopes. It makes for a good, albeit heart-wrenching, read. I had such a hard time picking a quotable and a recommends, simply because my little paper I make notes on was so full of gems. Good Lord, darling, we are going through the same things. I wanted so much to reach you in the moments and say, "Me too." Especially here, here, and here. Oh and this? Cracked me right up. Yes, so I scored your content high because you truly pour yourself into your diary. I know exactly what happened and what it felt like. Your words took me and showed me a face I never would have known. You made me laugh and cry and empathize. Incredible depth all over the place. Thanks.
*layout* <12/15 points>: Design by vivalicious. Your layout is absolutely beautiful. I love Moulin Rouge, and it seems to fit the tone of your diary so well. Suggestions? Well, your navigation bar should probably be at the top. Just for those like me who are anal about that stuff. It is kind of buried in a bunch of other writing, and it is hard to locate. Secondly, I liked the little yellow sparkles on the mouse pointer better than the clock. My opinion. Clocks make me nervous. (An old association of running out of time before tests... :) ) Lastly, you may want to 'clean up' a bit. Again, I am all anal about organization and simple layouts. You seems to have lots of extra stuff around your entry. Try to make it more well-organized, so that you entry is the star of the show. Oh, and you are going to laugh at me, but I went back and forth to the archives page for about thirty entries before I realized I had to click "gems" to move forward. Yeah.
*grammar check* <7/10 points> Not perfect, not terrible.
*contact* <5/5 points>: What with the e-mail link, guestbook, tagboard, guestmap, and notifylist... I'd say I may find a way if I tried.
*updates* <5/5 points>: You may skip a day or a few, but you more than make up for it by the multiples.
*oops!* <4/5 points>: Just a little bitty one I could find... when I click to sign your guestbook, I am taken to the "sign up" screen intead of the screen to leave you a note. Make sense? OH! This didn't affect your points, but you have me linked as jane_does instead of jane-does on your daily reads. It just takes you to the error page. Thank you for the link anyway!
*will jane come back?* <5/5 points>: Most assuredly.
*extras* <5/5 points>: You've got your favorites, your linkers, your cast, your mood icons, a counter, a weather pixie, and your birthday countdown.
TOTAL: <87/100 points>
Quick comments: Thea, thank you so much for inviting me to your site. It was my pleasure to review you. Keep your beautiful head up and talking to the stars that look like planets. We ARE whole, even without the men we love(d). Right? :)
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I can't wait to tell Jenny! Well I have to motor and get some work done.
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Today's Horoscope
People around you are likely to notice that today you're looking different, Thea. There is something ethereal and otherworldly about your appearance, and you could attract an unusual amount of attention. You're probably feeling especially poetic as well, and more apt than usual to see the world through rose-colored glasses. This is wonderful, but you need to hang on to some measure of practicality. Make the most of today's mystical energy while still remaining grounded in reality.
Your Rising Sign
You are growing, developing, taking more risks, and finding new and adventurous ways of expressing yourself creatively. Due to today's opposition between Jupiter and the Moon, you may be aware of certain tension that this may create in your world of close friends. Perhaps others are jealous of this newfound zest you have for life. Perhaps they want a piece of the action but don't even know where to begin. Other people's jealousy is their emotion to deal with, not yours.
Daily Numeroscope
Life Path Number: 7
The vibrations of your number will incite you to change your mindset and see events, others and yourself under a different angle. If you can do this the results will be immediate, Thea! You could realize something big for yourself and get tangible results on a material level. You will thus be interested in changing your way of working and getting out of the daily routine...there may be some nice surprises in store!