aimless
July 23, 2003 � 7:26 p.m.
Mood-Ready to go home
Good Morning Heartache-Diana Ross
"Shit, mother fucker, fuck, shit!!" Sex and the City
Abused phrase for today-Mother fucker fuck shit!
A classic "What the Fuck?!!?" moment-Having some asshole cut me off and make me drive into a corner and bend my rim on my way into work this morning. I better not blow out my fucking tire!!!!
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Jenny read my entry earlier today and she said it made her cry, which in turn had me tearing up at my desk here at work.
She is such a sap.
I was on my way into work and was turning a corner when someone else was turning the same corner (the opposite way) and was way too close...so I jerked my wheel and not realizing how close I was to the curb, I like sideswiped the curb HARD and bent and cracked my shitty factory rim. I was singing "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" the rest of the way in. I was so afraid I had ripped my tire or something, but I'm told it's fine.
That's all I fucking need right now.
Me and Jenny have decided that when we go out on Cowboy's birthday, we are going to celebrate all of our birthdays. Mine was in February, but it sucked because I was stuck at my house with Cowboy in a fucking snowstorm and we couldn't even have sex because I was on my fucking period. No cake...no cards...no calls...everyone totally forgot my damn birthday. Cowboy was the only one that got me a gift. So yeah...my birthday sucked...but I digress...
Jenny's birthday is in September, so we are combining the birthdays. We also decided that if Cowboy gets weird and decideds not to come, WE are still going.
We're planning on dressing up like men in suits, going to Sisters, and then going to a full nudity strip club with the b.y.o.b. policy. We're going to have derbys and all. This will be so fucking fun!! We might even get a limo so we don't have to drive and can get as drunk as humanly possible.
I don't know...it all seems so stupid written down here, but it sounded so cool when we talked about it.
Maybe I'm forgetting something...
Or maybe my life is just that boring that I find something like that to be like the best time ever.
How sad.
Fuck it...either way...I know it's going to be fun. Something about the whole role playing idea...sexy chicks in men's clothing puffing on cigars in the back of a limo cruising the town for some action...
Shit...sounds fun to me.
Fuck all if it doesn't sound fun to you!!
I've been thinking a lot about Swiz and Cowboy. Disturbingly enough, my thoughts about them overlap one another. I think about sex with Swiz and then sex with Cowboy. I think about Sleeping with Swiz and then sleeping with Cowboy...my dreams combine them in weird ways...their characteristics seem to mingle in my mind.
I think I am constantly subconciously comparing them to each other. I don't know why, though. They are nothing alike...except they're both smart and "surface" nice guys. Surface because they are basically cool guys...but they do fucked up shit and think they're still "great" guys. Besides that...besides the fact that I've had sex with both of them...they have NOTHING in common. Total opposites.
But I think they would get along real well if they met.
This thought really disturbs me, though I can't fully pinpoint why.
I wish I could just forget both of them and quit this constant needless obsessing.
The sad part is, if I didn't sit around dwelling on what should have been or could be with them...
I have nothing to think about or do at all.
I would be completely aimless.
Just like this stupid ass entry.
Fuck monkies!