apprehensive ramblings
2003-06-28 � 3:55 p.m.

Mood-extremely nervous

Somewhere I Belong (my anthem)-Linkin Park

"If I had had a happy childhood, then I wouldn't have anything to write about." Devine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood

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Ok...I feel sick. Like I want to throw up. I am sooooooooooo nervous about this move all of the sudden.

Nervous that the neighbors won't like me, that I will fall while trying to lug my shit into my place today, that something is going to go wrong with the moving tomorrow, that I will see Cowboy and make an absolute ass of myslef.

Fuck...I need a drink...bad.

I am proud of myself...and happy...but in my life...all my life...I have always waited for the bottom to fall out, because honestly, it always does.

Shit.

All I need is one happy thought...and then I'll be able to fly...and everything thing will be fine...I will be fine...

Fuck...I need to breathe...why can't I breathe?

I need to calm down...why must I always overreact?

*sigh*

Well my friends...I'll be gone for the next few days, moving into my place and what not, so please give me good blessings that everything goes well and my damn couch will fit through the damn front door...and gimme girl power so I won't do something stupid with/in front of/because of Cowboy...

I hope the bottom doesn't drop out just yet.