cowboy convo #2
2003-06-26 � 1:03 p.m.

mood-excited

Disarm-Smashing Pumpkins

"I love you with my whole heart." Ben Kirkley

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I don't want to see you Saturday. I know I will more than likely need you to help me move...but I do not want to see you. I don't want to be near you...watch you move all that heavy stuff...watch you sweat and laugh and joke with my brothers...no...I don't think I can take it.

I don't want to see you...but I need to see you...just one glimpse of your face...your smile...to smell you and breathe you in...

It was weird hearing your voice yesterday. I don't know why what we did wigs you out so much...it's not like we reconciled or now I'm going to expect anything from you. Shit happens..especially between drunk exes with unresolved issues. All it was was some fun...a mistake, yes...a set back, probably...but still fun.

I wish you would grow up and accept the fact that yes...I do love you...but I can still be your friend and do my thang without expecting anything from you. Why is that so hard for you to grasp? Or is it...is it that YOU wouldn't be able to handle seeing ME with some one else? Is that it? Is it all really as simple as you not really being able to let me go and that's why you act like an ass and hate to hear my voice...because it makes you miss me too much? Makes you think of me and remember everything we had? Does it make you regret your choice?

Who am I kidding?

If you really felt that way or gave a fuck about me at all we wouldn't be apart right now anyway.

Asshole.