cowboy convo #1
2003-06-25 � 7:43 p.m.

Mood-flakey

Send The Pain Below-Chavelle

"I have breathed you in, and now I am suffocating." Roxanne

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I don't understand you. I don't understand why you have to make everything so hard for US...why you have always made things so hard for US. The second time we spoke all you ever did was steer the conversations towards there being an US...proclaiming how we should be together...how it seemed like we were meant to be together. I don't get it. How was I the perfect one for you then, but you can't even stand to talk to me now? What has happened in the interim? Is there something I don't know about?

I mean, the end of April you told me....YOU TOLD ME...that you would never hurt me and you wanted us to have a happy future and you just KNEW that this was the life we would have...the future WE would have...you said you loved me with your whole heart.

Then, at the end of May, suddenly it's going to fast...suddenly you don't know if you want to be with me...suddenly you feel like you are doing too many things at once and you are screwing up our future so what do you do? Instead of fighting for US...you let US go. You would rather be without me than with me. I don't understand that. I don't see what could be so different now that you would run away screaming...

You either lied to me then or you're lying to yourself now.

Did you ever really love me at all...or was it just all a game for you?

I made you the meaning of my life and now that you're gone, I have no meaning.

I just want to know why...how could you do this...just flip on me 180 style...to the point where I don't even know who you are anymore.

Maybe I never knew who you were in the first place.